Love wins!

I don’t really know how to begin this blog post.

I guess I’ll just start with a back story. Five years ago as of January 18th my mom, Charlene was declared cancer free, and she was considered to be in remission. She is the strongest most beautiful woman I know. Even cancer couldn’t taint her beauty and grace. She had stage 3 cervical cancer and a 70% survival rate. She beat the odds and I never doubted for a moment that she would.

This week was particularly hard for my family. Just six days after the anniversary of her survival date, she landed in the hospital. Her lungs were filling with fluid among other things and her doctor had her admitted to Sacred Heart Hospital. After four days and three nights of being poked and prodded at the results came in.

We had waited intently for these results but as the doctor walked through the door I can remember thinking how I wanted to just stay in this limbo of not knowing. The doctor didn’t waste any time to let us know that her cancer has returned. This time in her lymph nodes. Everything sounded muffled as the doctor said things like, “now is the time to surround yourself with loved ones”. I felt a lump in my throat and I couldn’t even swallow.

I couldn’t say anything, all I could do was lift my tear filled eyes up to a cross that hung on the hospital room wall. I clung to that cross the entire time the doctor spoke, as she gave numbers I gave all my thoughts to God. I couldn’t find the words to pray in that moment but I just thought, “No, that cross has the final word, God has the final report.”

I don’t accept the doctor’s report. I respect the doctor and her report don’t get me wrong. But my faith is strong and I have hope that by the stripes of Jesus my mother will yet again overcome this. The Bible says that we may come boldly to God’s throne when we are sick asking for his mercy and healing. Jesus still has the power to heal us, and if what I am asking for is a miracle, then I come boldly to the throne of God and I declare that my Jesus is STILL in the business of making miracles, and I won’t move until I see it happen!

I ask that you will all believe this with me. Please pray for my mom and stand in agreeance with me today that in the name of Jesus she will be healed. Please add her to your prayer list’s and remember her in your nightly prayers.

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
-Hebrews 4:16



Lord have mercy… This morning stared out awesome and empowering with Bible Study at church! I left encouraged and strong to face the day. Took a pit stop at Beals on the way home that turned into a mommy disaster to really test how strong I am feeling.

I just needed to stop in and get some jeans, I am not the shop around type of girl, I like to be in and out so I just grabbed the kids and left the diaper bag in the car. Went in and found what I needed but decided I better try them on. So I have all the kids with me in a large family size fitting room and Alex decides to go number two. It’s pretty stinky so I’m like okay time to go! Gotta be fast now. I just have to grab some socks for Landon and some underwear for Marlie and we can go (I could see them from the fitting room so there was no searching). I’ll change Alex in the car, no biggie. I get to the check out line and I’m apologizing to the nice check out girl for the smell, she laughs and say’s “it happens”. No sooner did she say that then I look over and see Marlie staring at the back of the baby with a face of disgust. I’m thinking “no God please don’t let it be…” Before I could even finish my thought Marlie shouts, “OH MY GOODNESS, SO MUCH POOP!” -face palm- and the finished thought plays out “… a blow out diaper” yep, Alex apparently wasn’t finished at the dressing room. I mean to tell you, it was everywhere! I was so embarrassed and asked the check out girl if I could please help her clean it, in my head trying to figure out how thats possible when I don’t even have a baby wipe on me. She assured me not to worry about it, that she would take the cart in the back and that it wasn’t a big deal. God bless her really! I wish I would have gotten her name so I can call Beals and tell them how wonderful their employee is!

So we exit the store with Alex by the hand because I am not fixing to put his poopy body against mine to carry him out to the car. Where I proceeded to strip him down and clean him up for about 20 minutes all while threatening my older two that if they didn’t stop laughing at me I was gonna ground them indefinitely! Then we drove home with the windows down. Alex got a bath asap, and now he is down for a nap. And me… well I didn’t kill anyone so God’s grace is still with me and I guess that’s winning!

Hope you are ALL having a much better day than me

Dinner with Alex

Alex Jack Jack hasn’t been a “good” eater since he came off the boob, which lets be real he still grazes. He is very picky, and will hardly eat anything that is actually good for him -insert eye roll- which is one reason we have to give him a toddler formula to make sure he gets some sort of nutrition. One member of the family however does not seem to mind his shenanigans. Our pup Pasha waits by the baby gate every evening waiting for her buddy to sneak her a bite.

Hope you enjoyed that Chicken and green beans Pash!